Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Flash Fiction Challenege

This is the first challenge in Rach's fourth platform-building campaign.

The Rules: Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count.  

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these: 1. end the story with the words: "everything faded." (also included in the word count) 2. include the word "orange" in the story 3. write in the same genre you normally write and or 4. make your story 200 words exactly!

          Here's Mine:
          (According to Word 2010, it's exactly 200 words, not counting the title.)
          *Mild sensuality alert*

          'Til Death

          Shadows crept across the wall as Leah carried the lantern and set it on the bedside table. Nathan sat on the edge of the bed, watching her every move. The angles of his face seemed sharper in the low light, and his eyes glowed with hunger and her reflection.

          Husband. He was her husband now. How much difference a day made.

          Leah turned the lantern down and bent to blow out its flickering orange flame.

          “Don’t.” His kind request held an edge of...authority.

          “Very well.” She faced him and lifted her gaze.

          His eyes followed the path his finger made as it traced the curve of her face and trailed down the buttons of her gown. “You know what will happen now.”

          “Yes.” Her voice held steady. How, she did not know.

          Nathan stood before her, his towering frame dwarfing hers. “Do you trust me?”

          “Yes.”

          He lifted her chin and his eyes searched hers. “I promise to make this as painless as possible.”

          A slight smile. “I know.”

          He tugged at the ribbon holding her collar closed and wrapped his hands around her throat. “Wait for me, Leah. Wait for me on the other side.”  He squeezed.

          Everything faded.
            

          ~~~~~


           Okay...so I'm a little twisted.  = P 
          1 hour, 1 color, 2 phrases, and 200 words, and this is what you get. hahaha 


          If you want to vote for me, I'm #149 (hint, hint)  
          But, you'll have to scroll wayyyy dowwwwwn. *grins*


          79 comments:

          1. Oh my gosh... that was amazing. Definitely voting for you! Great job!

            I'm entry #19

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            1. Wow. Glad you liked it. I wasn't sure how it would be received. Thanks for the vote. = )

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          2. I feel like I don't know you anymore! LOL

            Nice work, Melissa. You have my vote! :)

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            1. Well at least MY readers don't need an entire truckload of tissues.=P (um... just a pacemaker)
              But seriously. Thanks for your support.

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          3. Wow! That took a surprise turn! You did a great job using dialogue to lull the reader into a false sense of security . . . and the WHAM! Loved it. :-)

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          4. *Screams and runs away, then returns to comment after he calms down* Very well done. I'm likin' it for sure!

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          5. Wow-ee. That was certainly a wham ending! Great job.

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            1. Question is: Is wham good or bad. LOL
              Thanks for the comment. ; )

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          6. Ohhhhhhhh!!!!!! Phew! Sizzle! I seriously loved this... Nice heat ;) LIKED!!!!!! :D

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          7. Wow, so did not see that coming. Great job!

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          8. A bit creepy, but sure met all the criteria. Wow. I'm #88. Check it out. Comments welcome.
            Richard

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            1. Richard,
              My novels aren't this creepy. This is just where my mind went from shadows (the lantern) to reconciling it with 'everything faded' in 200 words. I was just havin' some fun with the challenge. My romances, though sometimes a little heated (and a couple a tad creepy with paranormal/medical sci-fi), are fairly sweet with very moral characters. ; )

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          9. Absolutely love that twist. You've got my vote!

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            1. Thanks! I'm still making the rounds and reading the entries. I'm going to try and read them all = O We'll see...

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          10. Hey there! I'm finally making the rounds and getting to other campaigners' blogs.

            Oh man! What a twist! I, like many others, totally did not see that coming. Man, that was a great piece of writing!

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          11. Awesome twist! Really enjoyed this entry. :-)

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          12. Very twisted ending. I enjoyed it. Guess I'm a little twisted, too.

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            1. LOL
              Like I told Richard, I'm not usually this twisted, but we gotta goof around and have some fun now and then. ; )

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          13. OMG that was awesome. Voting for you. I totally want to read more, and there's nothing wrong with being a little twisted. :)
            I'm entry #151
            A2ZMommy and What’s In Between

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            1. LOL Thanks! I was working my way up from the bottom of Rach's list, so I already read yours and voted for you. I really liked your entry!

              Hey, campaigners... Don't forgets us folks at the bottom.
              (I'm #149)

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          14. Whoa! That's some seriously twisted writing. Nice one! :)

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            1. LOL - Like I said, just having some fun with this. It's not my usual style to be so dark. Thanks for stopping by.

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          15. Oh man! What's going to happen to her? first I thought they were going to consume the marriage but at the end I'm not so sure. ;)
            I hope he didn't "kill" her.
            Thanks for stopping by my blog.

            PS: your blog won't let me leave a comment with my wordpress account. Can you make it so people can fill in their name and url? I know blogger has that option.

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            1. Thanks for the heads-up. I'll look into it. ; )

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          16. Whoa! Your ending hit me over the head and left me for dead. Excellent job, Melissa.

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          17. Eerily similar, yes, but I believe you. No worries. Good story!

            #96

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          18. Wow! Interesting twist on the challenge. I liked it. :)

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          19. Wow! Nice surprise ending! The whole piece was very nicely written, too.

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          20. Eek! I was *not* expecting that ending. The poor girl!

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            1. LOL. Sorry, Deniz. My line of thinking with it was a paranormal where they actually would be together in some other place, but I couldn't work it in with the 200-word limit, well not without losing some of the close POV and the heat anyway.

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            2. Oh good, I'm glad they'll be together :-)

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          21. You surprised me, and I like to be surprised. Great job!

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          22. Oh my, so chilling!
            This is a great entry for the challenge!

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          23. Eeks! I wasn't expecting that! Now you'll have to write the whole story! Good job!

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          24. Very sinister. I suspected Nathan might not be good news, but I didn't expect that ending. Great job!

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          25. Eh? I so didn't see that coming! Here I was expecting something completely different! Creepy!

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          26. Thanks for the comments.
            Hope I didn't freak you guys out too much. = O

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          27. Oh, nice that was a fantastic twist ending oh my goodness!!!

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          28. Whoa! I wasn't expecting that! Poor girl!! Nice job! :D

            I'm #37

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          29. "You know what will happen now."
            "Yes."


            Damn, I thought I knew what was happening now, too! Turns out I was very much mistaken!

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          30. LOL Thanks for the comments. I'm going to try and make the rounds soon and see the rest of the entries. *cracks knuckles and wiggles typing fingers* Last I checked, there were 180+
            = O

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          31. Oh yes, superb. I thought he might be violent, but not THAT violent :-)

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          32. Very well done! I wasn't expecting the reveal at the end.

            I'm #123.

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          33. Really nice writing, Melissa. I'm # 61.

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          34. Oh man. I did not expect that. At all. Great job! Lol.

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          35. Great job! And very unexpected...which is a good thing!

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          36. My jaw dropped open at the end! Very nice work, love it.

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          37. HOLY COW that was cool! I love twists! Thanks for sharing!!

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          38. Well now, THERE'S a twist! Great story.

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          39. Wow I didn't see that coming. Great twist!!!

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            1. Thanks, Carrie. And thanks for stopping by.

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          40. Very nicely done. I had no clue. Yes, very twisted. You get my vote too!

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          41. Oh wow. You had me! What a twist! Maybe you are "twisted", but that's some fine writing!

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          42. Whoah! Totally was not expecting that! Great twist - I loved it!

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            1. Thanks, Jocelyn. Glad you stopped by. = )

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          43. That is really twisted...loved the slow build up with fooled the readers for a time.
            Thanks for visiting.

            *For GFC, I have been told, pressing F5 a couple of times helps get it back... Do try it, nothing to lose. :)

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          44. *which not with*...some times my hands have a mind of their own. :(

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            1. Rek, Thanks for stopping by. I'll give the F5 a try. Thanks. (At this point, I'd stand on my head if it would help. LOL)

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          45. i was starting to feel all sensual and smiled.. then you killed her totally slamming my poor mind. hehe.. good one. i loved it! voted !

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            1. Thanks! And thanks for stopping by. = )

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          46. Wow Melissa, I loved it! Unfortunately voting is closed otherwise I would have hit the thumbs up button! What a twist! I was just not expecting the ending!

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            1. Thanks anyway. And thanks for stopping by. ; )

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          47. YIKES!!! *shudders* You really caught me unawares!
            What an unexpected twist... well done!

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          48. Replies
            1. Glad you liked it, Sylvia. Thanks for visiting. = )

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          I love to hear what you have to say.
          Thanks for taking the time to comment. = )