Wednesday, June 27, 2012

I'm A Freak

No, I haven't gone off the deep end or dyed my hair to look like a rainbow snow cone. The title of this post refers to my stubborn nature to control. I might as well admit it.

"My name is Melissa and I'm a control freak."
"Hi, Melissa," comes a rippled murmur from the audience. 

Okay. So there's really just a lone cricket. I can pretend, right?  :P

I thought I'd open it up for comments today about how our love for our stories combined with our personality determines the amount of control we like to have over our writing and how that control affects both the way we process critiques and the choices we make when it comes time to publish. 

I must admit, this mix of protectiveness and stubbornness has not only made it hard for me to see reason with negative comments from my critters at times, but it has also been one of the driving forces behind me viewing indie and self publishing as more desirable than the traditional route. I'll readily admit I don't know everything there is to know about writing and publishing fiction, but I'm scared to give up too much control.

Have you considered how these things affect you? 
Have you given in to them or continued on in spite of them? 
Tell us what you think and how you cope.


24 comments:

  1. ...You realize I used to have blue hair, right? LOL

    I think we both have control issues to a certain extent. That's why we make such great CPs! We know how to present suggestions to each other without triggering "defense mode". ;)

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    1. A few monochromatic streaks does not a rainbow snow cone make. LOL

      This is true. And I'm figuring out that when I debate with someone over a writing issue, it's because deep down, I think their suggestion has merit. I just need them to convince me. ;)

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  2. I'm a total perfectionist that has a hard time letting go and declaring a final draft! Blogging has helped a lot with this problem because I have to post something and that means I have to let a piece go (and quickly). :-)

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    1. Ha! Me, too. I have to watch out or I get into editing loops instead of gaining word count.
      Thanks for visiting. :)

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  3. HI Melissa! Just popping in from Write Escape. Nice to meet you!
    I'm obsessive with my work. I mean crazy, crazy obsessive. One word in the wrong place, whacking rhythm out of place, will make me lose sleep. I'm a nut, so I can't waiting to hand over my manuscript to someone else, take that off me for a bit! : )

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    1. Interesting perspective. I hadn't thought of it like that. I keep thinking 'their going to nab me for xyz,' so I keep working on it to avoid the marks I know are coming. LOL

      Thanks for stopping by. :)

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  4. My biggest problem is not control, but in taking it too personally. I have to shove aside the sensitivity and use the criticism to make my writing better.

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    1. I think we all fight that to a degree. I'm developing a tougher skin. Now only harsh or unnecessarily picky crits get to me.

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  5. I freely admit that I am a control freak and perfectionist. That makes me very hard to be with sometimes.

    www.modernworld4.blogspot.com

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  6. I'm a control freak too sometimes. I work as a coffee barista and sometimes I want to just create people in my novel that resemble nasty customers just to kill them off. Strange? Yeah, probably. :)

    As writers, we are sensitive and need each other. But that's why we have this awesome writing community! :)

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    1. Hahaha. Yeah, I don't blame you. I read your post on customers. Sad how people assume.

      You are so right. I love the writing community! Never have I met a less competitive, altruistic group of people who are basically each others competition.

      Thanks for visiting. :)

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  7. HEY! I am a TOTAL control freak! Wow. It's really bad. In fact, it's so bad, I try not to think about how it affects everything I do because that makes me want to "control" it so it doesn't. Yeah - there's no controlling it. I like to be in charge. *sigh* If only my children and characters would LET me be!

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    1. LOL - right. Thanks for visiting. :)

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  8. I used to be a complete control freak when it came to my writing, but I've eased up a little. I'm more open to suggestions and I think my writing is better for it. I'll still occasionally hold onto scenes like they're my babies. I figure if I'm willing to fight for them even after listening to professional advice, then they're worth keeping. I am the author, after all. Most editors respect that.

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    1. Good point. The writing is the easy part. Assigning weight to advice and deciding what to cut and what to keep is the hard part.

      And that's the topic for next week. You provided the perfect segue. :)

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  9. I'm right there with you Melissa! I do love Indie publishing because you have a lot more input on your product and how it turns out.

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    1. Hi, Charmaine. Thanks for stopping by. :)

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  10. I have been a control freak for so long. In a way, it has sabatoged my life, not completely but enough that I have regrets. I am stubborn too. I have things my way and now. Impatient much? Yes! All of things things are not great attributes to have as a writer. Becuase, to be honest, in writing we don't have a lot of control. I've got an agent but it still takes time. Rome wasn't built in a day, right? Well, being published doesn't either. It sucks but proves to help me grow. :D Nice post!

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    1. I'm impatient, too, and I have to keep reminding myself to slow down and do it right. The thing that keeps me under control is - once it's out there, you can't take it back. So, I polish and listen to advice... :D

      Thanks for visiting! :)

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  11. Hi Melissa,
    Thanks for coming by my blog, The Intrinsic Writer. I'm in the process of "renovating" my blog, so when it's all ready, I hope you'll still be a follower! I'll give you the head's up when I get to that point.

    Great post. I never looked at it that way. The idea of being a 'control freak' or not, and how that determines what kind of writer one is. Truthfully, 'control freak' is not me. I'm much more of a big picture kind of person. At this stage in the game, I'm much interested in traditional publishing. I like the idea that in this process, I play my role, you play your role.

    However, you make a good point...we all have our own visions for our stories, and would like a good amount of say on how they turn out. So who knows, my feelings may change! Thanks for giving me something to think about today!

    I'm now following you...keep in touch!

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    1. Sure thing! Thanks for visiting. :)

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  12. I have these same thoughts. I hate when people want to change major components of my story, and that makes me want to self publish, so I decide what happens in my story. On the other hand, I know it's harder to be successful self publishing...

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    1. It's hard to know if the advice is good or bad. I've had both--about minor things and major things. Sometimes the most difficult part (after I get over my stubborn, post crit fit LOL) is deciding who to listen to when it comes to making changes.

      Thanks for visiting. :)

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