Wednesday, May 6, 2015

IWSG May - The Good and The Sucky

This is my Insecure Writers Support Group post for May.

Alex's awesome co-hosts this month are: 
Eva Solar, Melanie Schulz,  
Lisa-Buie Collard, and Stephen Tremp!


Please stop by their blogs and say thank you. 

I'm not sure whether my problem this month is insecurity or simply frustration. 

I didn't want there to be a whole year in between book releases, but I've blown right past the (self-imposed) deadline, and there's nothing I can do about it. I keep telling myself my debut took me 2 1/2 years from start to pub., and that 1 is good in comparison, but I still don't like that I can't get book two done.

I joked with some writer friends recently that my life is a mix of good and sucky right now, and that pretty much sums it up. The insecurity I'm feeling is related to my 'real job' and my personal life, not my writing. I'm just trying to take it day by day, write when I can, and not be too hard on myself when I can't.

What about you?




IWSG is the brainchild of Alex J. Cavanaugh. It's a monthly bloghop that offers a safe haven for writers to express their feelings and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. It's also a venue for offering support, both in the form of comments and positive posts. Writers of all kinds are welcome. 

We 'meet' the first Wednesday of every month. If you're interested in learning more, click on the link above. And don't be intimidated by the size of the group. We're not expected to visit everyone on the list


 

40 comments:

  1. Oh life certainly does know how to interfere. And a mix of good and sucky is hard to deal with. Best of luck. I know deadlines are good to have, but they can't always be met. Take the time you need and just know you are working towards the goal.

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  2. Yes. It's a bit demoralizing when there's such a big gap between book 1 and 2. But at the same time, you don't want to rush things. There's some advantages to hitting reset when book 2 is released. You definitely fall in love with your debut all over again.

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  3. I think being too hard on ourselves is something a lot of us are too good at. Sigh. Hang in there!

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  4. Sorry about the sucky.
    I can't crank books out either. Don't stress over the missed deadline. Just set a new one.

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  5. Life happens. I'm juggling so many things that I have no hope in hell of hitting any deadlines, but you still need to set them to have some sort of goal. It's very hard to get anything done without some kind of focus and direction.

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  6. In many ways, book 2 is harder than book 1, in many others it's easier. Just find your balance and let those characters simmer in your head. You'll get there, even if it's taking you a little longer than anticipated. Best of luck!! :-)

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  7. Ahh, it's all part of the journey, and your book will come out exactly when it is meant to =)

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  8. I have a feeling book twos will always be harder, especially if someone is waiting for them. Book one had all the time in the world to develop and perfect. Maybe take a week off book two and let it simmer in your head, then come back to it. When I'm stuck I read related material or do nf research on the places or topics I expect to come up in the next story.

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  9. That's a good description for me too. Even some of the good stuff coming up this month is stressful.

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  10. I hear you on the self-imposed deadline and blowing right past it. I've done that several months in a row now. *grimace* But things will get better and eventually get done, right?

    I hope work and personal life gets less sucky for you! :)

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  11. Hang in there, Melissa! We ALL go through rough spots... As for your second book, it will come out when it NEEDS to. NEVER rough your creativity. It needs to be natural, not forced. The READER ALWAYS KNOWS....

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  12. Seems like we had similar thoughts today, huh? I guess I'll give the advice that so many commenters gave to me - ease up, and trust yourself. It'll all work out!

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  13. I think I have way too much "sucky" in my stew at the moment. I need a new recipe. Book not coming along. Friends not understanding my absence. House a mess. Garden gasping for attention. And a very sore butt from the AtoZ.

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  14. My insecurity is mostly related to my writing right now, although maybe I should be more worried about the security of my day job. One never knows.

    So "Maygrove" is a pen name? I never knew.

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  15. Sometimes life just gets in the way. I wouldn't beat yourself up about it!

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  16. I can relate to this. I've encountered a wonderful opportunity to apply my creativity to a new project-- that's the good, but I've had to push my novel writing aspirations off to the side.
    So that's the sucky.
    And apparently I have no more time to be insecure. ;) I miss you guys!

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  17. I've never gotten a hang on the whole "don't be hard on yourself when you don't" part...

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  18. Yeah, my personal life is getting in my way recently too. I think we have to make peace with what we can manage is good enough.

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  19. Taking things day by day is all you can do. You don't want to release a book that isn't ready. Hang in there and enjoy the good days.

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  20. "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." --Douglas Adams

    I know how you feel, though, because any deadlines I've had are self-imposed. And it does feel horrible when they fly by. I think the best you can do is just write when you can, and otherwise do what you have to do. The story will come in time, and as frustrating as it is when things aren't working, it's better to not force it.

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  21. I love Mason's quote here! That whooshing sound... Me too, I'm behind on where I want to be, but, I made a decision to not beat myself up, too badly, about it because of another saying I can really relate to: "Life is what happens when you're busy planning something else." I just hope your reasons shape up quick, and leave you with some smiles and good times, not only sucky ones...

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  22. It's perfectly understandable that you would be frustrated if your real life is giving you insecurities. At least you can take a break from feeling insecure about your writing! I like it when those breaks come.

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  23. Ah girlie, we all have some sucky going on. I guess we all handle it in different ways. As far as I'm concerned, you've done an amazing job lately. Like Lisa's quote and Mason's quote. 'Nuff said.

    Thank you for visiting me earlier today and commenting. I heart you so very much. Xoxoxo. Eva, IWSG co-host

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  24. I tend to use writing as a way of escaping the sucky and if you think of it this way.. the more you have written, the more you have as a backup when book two comes out...(i.e. a quicker release date for Book 3 or a new Book 1 :)

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  25. I do my best to keep the two separated. Wifey and I are pretty good at that. This way we can enjoy our passions and mine is writing.

    Stephen Tremp
    IWSG Co-host

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  26. Hi Melissa,

    Indeed, just go at your own pace. Insecurity will not be given permission to dominate your personal life. Keep embracing your love for the written word.

    Gary :)

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  27. Interesting, this is a common theme today. May must be the critical turning point in our self-made deadlines.

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  28. Ahh, the pull of life to get us away from our writing. So sneaky and dangerous. :)

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  29. Sometimes things don't come out at the time we plan them. And we feel frustrated. Mostly when other aspects of life are giving us a hard time. I would suggest you to adjust your timeline and keep working towards finishing it. You're doing very well, considering circumstances. Just keep going. Dragon Hugs!

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  30. Hi Melissa,
    I have a tendency of being too hard on myself also, and one day someone gave me some good advice that I wrote down in my journal. It was only one sentence but it has revolutionise my life. She said, "Be a gentle friend to yourself." That really hit me because I saw that I am harder on myself than anyone else. I could forgive others, but found it hard forgiving myself, and I could understand when others got stuck in a personal problem and could even encourage them to keep going, but I had a hard time doing it for myself. So, I say to you, be a gentle friend to yourself.
    Hang in there. You can do it.
    Shalom,
    Patricia

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  31. I don't think you should rush anything. It'll be ready when it's ready and will be worth the wait, I'm sure. You say your insecurity isn't about your writing so if you keep embracing it as a refuge from the suckiness of other matters, you'll get there and be proud of what you did.

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  32. It used to take several years to publish a book. Don't worry. It will happen as long as you want it to. And I know you do.

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  33. I want to be fast too. But I want the books to be good also. I think one spectacular book per year is way better than two or three mediocre. I tried writing a book from idea to the end in a month, and I've ended up with an editing beast that is taking me months to edit.

    Don't sweat it. You have until July ;)

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  34. I agree we shouldn't be hard on ourselves. The first book I wrote took a few months to write and more than four years to edit. I've had a lot of practise since that, so the process is easier for me.

    Life will get in the way, so rolling with the punches is about all we can do and enjoy the ride as best we can.

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  35. I suppose we gotta learn to take the good with the sucky...
    Me? I'm the proverbial snail... will probably publish something when I'm 100 years old. LOL
    However, I am also hard on myself. To a degree.

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  36. Hope June brings you more good than sucky.

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  37. Oh, no. I'm so sorry things have been tough with your writing and your job. The good thing is that a year between releases is just fine, I think, and it's so much better to create a quality book than one that you've rushed through.

    Good luck!!!!!

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  38. Gah! I feel you, Melissa. All my self imposed deadlines blow by as I put others first. It's so tough to be "selfish" (which, really it's not) and put your own stuff first. At least that's what happens to me. Good luck and keep on plugging!!

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  39. Even though it's been a while since I've visited, all I have to type in my browser is Me and it brings me to your site. <3

    I feel your frustration. I've yet to release anything new. But quality is better than quality.

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  40. Well, look at it this way: you've done this once before, and you can do it again. As Natasha said, quality over quantity.

    And sorry to hear you're feeling insecure in your "real" life. I've gone through periods like that, and have often found that writing can get my head out of it for a bit, or even help me work out solutions. Odd how therapeutic it can wind up being.

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